TAKING CARE OF ONESELF

Since Christmas, there have been a few posts from me; however, the last 2 months have been a bit challenging in that I've had a need to simply, take care of myself.

An upper respiratory infection, and now oral surgery. The mouth is swollen like a chipmunk, on one side; yet, my biggest challenge right now, is what to eat. Only soft foods, and very small bites are my friends.

Any suggestions, except for getting the blender out and mixing up strange ingredients that are not ordinarily mushy - I'm very open to suggestions. Yesterday was small ravioli, cut into very, very small pieces, and a pint of ice cream.

Sometimes, it is necessary to simply sit back - take it easy, and allow the most powerful computer in the world - the body, to do what it does best. Heal!!!!!

Here is a thought with relationships, though, not to let an opportunity pass. My good friend is picking up from the store what "I" need to feel better. She is not getting what she needs and wants and believing that is what "I" need.

If you need hugs, and he needs action to be validated and feel loved, then give the other person what they need. And, then let him know specifically what you need.

Have a wonderful day - and please, don't hesitate to send soft food ideas if you have any. My mind keeps going to ice cream, yet I truly know I need nutrition for the body and the soul.

RELATIONSHIPS

Relationships - what a broad topic. There are so many, yet I believe what most of us are curious about is a personal, romantic relationship between man and a woman. Yet, relationship 101 can be used by everyone -- friends, workmates, family, etc.

Recently I had a wonderful conversation with a family member. He indicated that what is important to him in a relationship is "high" conversation and humor. Ground zero in relationships, to me, is what are you looking for? How will you know when the "right" person appears?

I mentioned in a previous post - Are you ready? That is very important also. Defining what are you ready for -- dating, sex, friendship, marriage. What is it TRULY that you want and need.

A friend of mine has been dating for over a year. There was romance, laughter, sharing, introductions to family, and all the experiences and "right" words were spoken. Yet, the relationship did not move into the committed one that my friend cherishes and looks forward to. One in the relationship is simply, not ready as of this writing. Will that change? As of today - which is the only one that is important, this minute to be more specific is most important, there is no change. The relationship has splintered, and they have separated. Is there pain? Yes.

When we identify ourselves by what we do, who we are with, what we own, or what we think - we are truly missing a golden opportunity. Romantic relationships don't define us, relationships don't complete us.

Romantic relationships are to enrich each other, support each other, to learn from each other.

Romantic relationships are........ (Here is space for the readers to chime in, please.)

Donald Miller - Author - Changing your story.....

"A Million Miles in a Thousand Years"

Just about half-way through reading this book, I did not want to take another minute without sharing this with you. Many of you have been sharing how creating stories has changed your lives.

For all wanting a new relationship, for others within one and wanting to make it better, please check this book out. K-Love.com, a Christian radio station, not only provides music, it takes their Christian role seriously by offering prayer partners, contests, hope, and love through all that they do. I have been gathering points as an "Insider" by sharing and knowing some answers, and with those points I chose this book. It arrived this week, and I cannot put it down. It helps that I'm a bit "under the weather" so laying around is not a hardship. I'm blessed with having this book to read.

OK - back to laying around and reading. Head to the library - or a bookstore. I highly recommend this. It is written as a memoir. I understand he has other books, yet this is my first. My suggestions is not to miss it. The chair is where we read -- yet, in order to create your life stories, you will want to make sure you GET OUT OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Step one: Get out of your chair, take a step - as scary or difficult as that may be -- take a step, even if a small one. Not moving from your chair - will only continue your life in a dream state. You will wake up, in the chair unchanged.

Got to - Want to

"It's so hard when I have to, and so easy when I want to." - Sondra Anice Barnes

This resonated with me -- I want to blog, yet the time this past week + has been challenging. And, since the posts come from God, it is important for me to sit still a bit to allow God access.

Work has been way to LOUD in my life, and it definitely is a "have to" rather than a "want to."

All relationships can work that way. Are you feeling the "have to" more than the "want to."

This will be shorter than some lately, as I "have to" get ready for work. My day job that pays the bills. In this environment, I thank God for that opportunity. Yet, I'm also asking for others.

For parents who could use some tips, perhaps, check out Super Nanny on the Google, use the link on my home page. I noticed a blog that perhaps will provide some ideas from others who are having similar challenges, and I believe you can review some programs.

Perhaps shifting the "have to" into another thought - let's try today with whatever it is you "have to" do and simply see what happens.

"Squeeze joy....."

Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke

Letters to a Young Poet
by Rainer Maria Rilke


Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to
love the questions themselves, as if they were locked rooms, or books
written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers,
which could not be given to you now, because you would not be
able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the
questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually,
without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.


Here is something to chew on.... Also, give the question up to God, as you get up, have a cup of coffee and move into your day.

RELATIONSHIPS - THEY ARE EVERYWHERE

"Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most." - Fyodor Dostoevsky

Congratulations to all the new story tellers out there for taking a new step and uttering a new word. Thank you for posting your comments to allow others to understand and realize that they are not alone. Within this virtual world people are becoming more and more isolated. It is easier to sit at a computer in your jammies than to slow down and look someone in the eye, and say, perhaps - How are you.... really.

The "story" post almost did not happen. Yet, I was sitting here at the computer, took a breath and my fingers typed it up. My words truly are a gift from God, and He deserves all the credit. I so appreciate all that you say, as the compliments are being returned to the rightful owner each night as I pray. He provided me the friend, and together we created a diversion and lots of laughs. It is so much more rewarding, as you each confirmed, to have another to share the stories AND the laughter with. It can create energy, and also space for new to be formed. It will provide space for opportunities and new visions.

For those looking for new relationships - from what location are you looking? Last evening I was in a new local restaurant. It offered an opportunity for me to introduce myself to the waiter, which, in turn, offered me the opportunity to learn a bit of what his life is like. As we prepared to leave the restaurant, we took a few minutes to chat. I learned it was his second night as a waiter, he has been a teacher at a local community college, and is now studying nursing. I'm so very grateful for that opportunity, and I look forward to returning to get to know him even better.

There are lots of steps to take with relationships, yet one is to simply, begin. Rather than "looking" for the right person, simply meet people. It might be through the people you meet, when the person you are dreaming of appears.

Now the next question is - are you ready, really ready?

"Squeeze joy ...."

Something else - to think about........

When I was getting a divorce, and the world seemed as if it was upside down one small thing started to help. A friend and I began a game of -- "Tell me a story." Whichever one was in need, the other would begin, in detail, a fictitious tale describing problems that were different, seemingly unique. For example -- "A friend of mine just called and she has a hang nail on her 5th finger..." (that could start the laugh) and it would go on from there. When done, we were laughing and feeling oh, so much better. OK, some days needed more than one story.

What happened was that our minds were taken away from what our own personal experiences, even if for a few minutes. Those few minutes began to add up as memories that we could return to, rather than the memories our minds were creating of misery, uncertainty, loss, fear, etc.

When love leaves - whether through death, divorce, separation, it can rock your world.

Everyone benefits when their minds are taking care of someone or something else. If need to, start small, take small steps. Make a list of steps to take and be specific. This works great with children. Don't leave them out of the healing process, in fact, get them involved. If they have lost someone they love, help keep them connected. Have a memory sharing time - I remember when.... Get out pictures of when the kids were small, sitting on Grandpa's knee, etc.

Volunteer to help others, bake cookies, paint a room, go sledding. Start seeds for spring planting, plan a memory garden. OK - in the South, where there is no snow, you tell me. I'm always looking for ideas. Go hiking, play tennis, create a small play. Note all things create action and can be done with others. The important thing -- a start is made.