Your comments have resonated with me and a past relationship. The relationship was 13 years old and ended, not abruptly. Not many relationships end abruptly. Oh, it might seem so, yet actually they fade. There is a song I have heard on K-Love -- "it's a slow fade..."
It is what happens when power is given and strength fades. As this process continues a relationship becomes lopsided -- one has increasing power, one has diminished strength. This is one scenario - there are other fading relationships with other reasons for being lopsided. Yet either way, attention and focus is changing -- one or both are becoming less a priority, less important, less and less and less and less. List priorities and see where you are on their list - and determine where they are on your list.
When another has the power - what they say takes on importance, their opinion becomes the one that matters, what they think of you counts more than the 20% of what you think about yourself.
When life changes from belief to knowledge -- it truly will become easier to increase your personal strength and release the power gifted to another. In the past I believe I created a post on strength vs. power, if not, I will. Strength is larger than power, it has legs and longevity, it is what God provides when we have faith. Power is fleeting, it is based on external fuel.
Strength is internal and blossoms with faith and trust in God and yourself.
11 comments:
Hey girl Roy here---What can I say except this is totaly outstanding and you blew this one out of the water.
Excellent, Excellent creation. Your words are so powerful that I just showed this to a friend of ours and this resonated with them and how true it is.
Our friend can relate as his marriage of 17 yrs faded thank you ever so much for creating this as this has helped our friend to realize some key points and by this post you have made it possible for our friend to become aware of what truly happened. This has been a break through for our friend.
Girl again stupendous job and when i read it and showed my wife your lastest creation. We were literally in tears of the wonderful thought that went into this post.
As always your photographer is remarkable tell them to keep up the outstanding work.
Susan---Gina here of Ok---I am also in tears as this just his home to me as I have been trying to save my marriage and was not truly understand the reason that I wanted to save it. Yet after reading your post it all become so very clear the reason that is needs to end. We are not alone with God by our side and I believe that.
I have been hopeful for a long time for my marriage to be repaired. I have been married 6 years and it faded long before now. Your post has help me understand.
Susan---Emery here---I don't what to say---all I can say is a job well done..This resonated with me as I have been trying to be there for my son and daughter yet they don't want any part of me at the moment that is why I have not been in contact for awhile.
I have been going through a difficult time trying to understand the kids reasoning why. I still don't yet after reading your post you have help me realize that all I can do is be there for my kids. The thing is I'm there father and want to help them both through a difficult time as each of them are in a terrible relationship and they don't know how to get out.
I feel so badly and helpless that my daughter has been beaten by her boyfriend and yet she is afraid to leave as she thinks she won't be able to find someone else.
As far as my son goes he's in a relationship that he is so in love with this woman yet she keeps playing the mind games so he does not know which end is up.
Thank you so much for writing this as i have been at a loss. I don't want to interfere as I don't want to make it worse for my son or daughter. It breaks my heart to see both of the kids in pain and to see my daughters face and body beaten.
I am so glad you have this place for me to come and share.
Susan--Ben of FL---I needed to read this post as I have been trying to figure out how to end my marriage of 5 years and your words made so much sense and made me aware of what is missing.
I have tried upon tried to fix it yet it takes both people to make it work instead of one sided.
Appreciate your thoughts.
Hi Susan---Aimee---of Rochester, NY -- Just want to say thank you for sharing about your relationship as I am learning it's better to talk about it instead of keeping it in.
Your post just continued to clarify that for me. I have been marriage for 8 yrs and when your husband does not want to do anything with our family as we have a boy and a girl and I have had to be mother and father to them as there father does not want a relationship with them and that breaks my heart and I have to play both rolls as I give all the love that I can to my children yet it's challenging as my son needs his father to do the guy things with yet I go and do the outings with my son as much as he would like his father there my son really appreciates me being there to do things with him.
I will do anything for both my kids as I will be there every step of the way for them.
There father drinks all the time and goes out and promises the kids that he will do something with them and that never happens so we go and spend the day doing things ourselves.
After reading your post realizing that myself and the children will be better off and it's time to ask for a divorce. This is no way to live for myself or my kids.
It's a shame that there father does not want to share in there lives as they both need they father. I do my best playing both rolls yet there are things that are special for the father to do with the kids. Thanks for providing this safe place as the kids have witnessed there father pushing me down the stairs and hitting me in face..
It feels good to be able to let this out and thank you for listening.
Hi Susan---Daniel of Brighton NY---Thank you for this post as you have made me aware that when the other person does not want to work at our marriage any longer there's nothing left for me to try.
I have tried many things and there has been such a break down on our communication that and after 9 yrs of marriage since when I confronted my wife and she states that I do not please her any more as she has been having an affair for about 4 months now.
It's time for us to go our separate ways even though I have loved my wife with all my heart yet at the same time I deserve to be treated with respect. Actions speak louder than words.
Just never thought it would come down to getting a divorce
Hi Susan ---Melissa of Henrietta---your post resonated with me as I have been hanging onto a marriage just because I have been afraid to leave and I have to account all my time away from the house as my husband of 6 yrs has been abusive so often landing me in the hospital with a broken arm and bruised ribs.
Yet I have not known how to go about leaving. After reading your post as I have been a follower of yours for 2 yrs you help me realize that I need to take care of me before something else worse happens. I placed a phone call to my daughter and son-in-law to come and take me to there house until we can figure out where I can go from there.
It is not pleasant being in tears on a constant basis and thank you for bringing the awareness into my life.
When I read your post I broke down into tears with such a realization as everything became so clear to me.
Appreciate this spot to come and relax.
Hi Susan---Colleen of Rochester NY---I have been married for 20 years now thanks so much for this post as I got up enough courage to tell my husband to leave as about 2 wks ago I came home from work and found my husband having a three some. I was in shock and disbelief and my heart broken in to many pieces.
Called my son to pick me up to stay at his house for a bit until my husband gets his stuff out of the house. When my son found out it turned bad as my son punched my husband in the face and in the cross fire my husband push me off of the front steps and i wound up with a black eye as i landed face first on the pavement.
You have created such a wonderful sight to come to for myself and your readers just to come and relax and just be. You are a wonderful writer and Gods gift
Hi there Susan-- Angela of Greece NY---What an outstanding post as it resonated with me as I have been married for 11 years and my husband has become depressed and moody since he lost his job about 3 months now.
He keeps mentioning that he wants to leave so I confronted him asked what is going on up in his head. My husband explained that he is feeling unworthly as he thinks he is a failure since he is not working and feels he is unable to provide for our family my husband, myself and my 2 boys 11yr and 13yrs old.
Well after alot of talk with each other my husband is willing to seek some help and help him understand the good that he does provide our family. This lay off hit my husband quite hard since he was at his place of business for 15 years and the thought of him starting over has put a fear into him. This is what my husband will be talking about. So at the moment we are staying together as he wants to get the help.
So with the encouragement from our family and friends I am very hopeful that we will be able to keep our marriage in check.
Thanks for providing such words of wisdom as I had my husband read it and that is when he decided he wants to get some help to help himself as well as our family.
Thank you so much for being here.
Outstand job by your photographer love the picture. Been followers of yours for 1yr now.
Susan--Anna---Greensboro NC---thank you so much for this post as I confronted my daughter who is 16 years old who has admitted to me finally when I asked that she has been drinking and getting drunk and it has been challenging for her to stop as well as having sex as my daughter has been feeling the peer pressure.
So good news is that my daughter agreed to go for help and attending meetings now on a regular basis and our pastor has been talking to her also.
Hi Susan- Renee of GA--my sister has been in an abusive marriage and has been afraid to leave yet when her husband punched her in her face and broke her jaw she finally had enough and she call me to come and get her. This has been about 3 to 3 1/2 wks ago now so we grab some items when he was not home and took her to my husband and my home. I am so pleased she made the decision to leave as she is in the process on leaving this marriage. The nice part is that she reached out for help and as my husband and i go to church every Sunday and we believe in God. My sister asked if she could go with us so she did and my sister went to our prayer room for prayers after the service as she was finally able to release with tears as she had not accepted any of what has been happening as she has gone back 3 times until this last time and she asked God for help.
I am so greatful for that.
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