Saturday, May 1, 2010

Speaking the Truth with Love

Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding.
   --Proverbs 3:13, NLT

Back from NYC and getting healthier again.  Something got me and took my voice.  Laughingly, my children indicated their delight.  More about that trip later, and a week has passed already.

Taking on tough subjects with friends or loved ones.  There are options, of course.  Wait until they bring up the subject, or have someone else share the information.

First, consider the motive and the subject.  Do they need to know, or is it your need to share the topic and remove it from your mind.  Is it their issue or yours?  Also, consider the possible outcomes of sharing information.  One possible way to begin a difficult conversation, is to discuss values and what if this or what if that, how would you handle it.  Possibly use a similar topic without actually discussing the topic in question.

With rather vague information - a position is difficult to offer.  Yet - honesty is ALWAYS best - even if the results are less than warm and fuzzy.

As far as how to handle a friend, when the feelings have become strong for one, and the feelings of the other are in question.  What not to do --- don't catch them off guard with a sincere kiss.  That happened to me once, and it changed and ruined a wonderful friendship.  To this day - I look back and wish that the situation had played out differently.

Roy -- so sorry to have missed you and the family.  Not far from Henrietta at all.  Every area around here is within approx. 20 minutes.

The weather is beautiful here today - spent the larger part of day at RIT - Rochester Institute of Technology.

Also - I can be reached by e-mail.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Susan--Rosey of NH thanks for responding it does help some. Here's the situation I have falling in love with my best friend who is a woman and I'm not sure if it's my place to say something or not. I have fallen head over heals for her and my heart does flip flops when I'm around her.

Please provide any thoughts or suggestions as I'm at a loss if I should say how I feel to her. I did not plan on for this to happen as I have felt like this for awhile now for her. I just don't want to upset or ruin the relationship all I want is to enhance it.

I am truly in love and fallen in love with her. She makes me feel so complete. When I'm near her I want to give her a kiss and share tender moments.

What approach is there for me to try and see if she feels the same or not without losing what we have already.

Please respond.

Anonymous said...

Hi Susan---Melissa of Hilton NY--thanks for this post as I appreciate your suggestions as that got me to thinking how to formulate a question back to my boy friend.

My boyfriend and I have been in limbo for awhile now and gently I asked him where do we stand and if he is still interested in our relationship of 5 yrs and not engaged or living together. His response back to me was that he likes things the way they are.

Well I'm not sure if I am content with that. You know what I'm saying with it being 5 yrs and no commitment.

My boyfriend is very nice and good to me yet he is afraid of commitment because his parents and brother got divorced and that's the concept that he is basing this on.

Not sure how to provide encouragement that each relationship is different and it does not happen to everyone.

Any thoughts or kind words that can be used to put some sort of diffuser on this. Is there a way to flip this around.

Please provide some insites.

Anonymous said...

Hi Susan--Anna of MS----Thanks so much for the lastest post you gave me wonderful ideas how to approach my 2 girls who are 13 and 14 yrs old on talking to them about sex.

We are going to go and spend the day together at a park and pack a picnic and that's where were going to have a talk. Having fun, sharing each others company at the same time spending time sharing what I know and finding out what they know about sex.

I want my daughters to feel close enough and comfortable to me that they can share anything with me whatever it is. I also want us to be very open with each other and that it's ok to talk about sex.

That's why I thought taking the girls out for the day so there 2 brothers don't distrub as my husband will spend time with our sons.

Thanks so much for planting the seed.

Anonymous said...

Hi Susan---Amy here of NY---thank you for your post as that truely does help. It gave me a few thoughts to go on. Do you believe that everybody is entitled to make a mistake as we are only human and the mistake was not intentional. I love my friend and would not ever hurt her in anyway as we have build a honest and trusting friendship. From your perspective how do you view things.

I love the title of your post speaking truth with love as I love my friend so much.

Trully outstanding work from your photographer where can we go to view there pictures.

Look forward to reading more from you. I am one of your followers for over a year in a half now. Keep up the great job.

Anonymous said...

Hi Susan--Liza of CT---Speaking truth with Love says a lot. I needed this post and reading the comments as well has helped.

From my point of view it's all in how you say something and wording makes a world of difference. By putting it gently you get better responces. I had to address an issue with my 7 year old daughter who was caught smoking with a friend of hers.

At first I was not sure how to handle it yet after reading your many post past and current. I made it a pleasant experience for my daughter to come to me if she has questions of any sort. Was upset that she was smoking yet I explained how nasty smoking can be and what I did was we have a friend who owns a funeral home and I brought her there and our friend had a talk with her and he took her to one of the viewings that was going on at first my daughter was scared. Yet our friend pointed out that if she keeps up it will cause more harm than good as we want what is best for her.

Anonymous said...

Hi Susan--Alice of NJ---Love your heading for this post Speak Truth with Love. I just had a child and due to complications he has gone home to the Lord now.

My husband and I held him as his breathing was not doing well the moment we both told our son that we love him he passed away in our arms.

Your site we have found comfort in as we have prayed with alot of your post and have shared it with our family.

Thank you for providing a tranquil and warm place to come as your words are very calming. It is very sad that we lost our little boy and through your post healing will be able to begin it's going to take sometime to get through this.

Please provide any other comforting words to share.