------------ Peace ---------

PEACE - What a seemingly simple, non-complex word that fills my heart with joy. To live in peace, to have peace, to be at peace.

Thank you so much for sharing your generous and gracious comments on the blog posts and the pictures. This one almost was not shared - it was viewed with flaws and lacking perfection. That is what charmed me most - as we fast approach Christmas Day.

I am taking steps to celebrate flaws and the imperfections in people and things. Perhaps that is what it will take for each and every person to be able to celebrate peace, live in and be surrounded by peace.

My wish for everyone the world around is that each person will begin and take steps to surround themselves to live in peace. It will mean different things to different people. That, too, is what I treasure most - differences. Perhaps that could be a place to start - to appreciate rather than the want to disparage differences. Celebrate differences and allow the candle of Peace to shine brightly.

Happy Holidays - Season's Greetings - and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!

Recalculating ----

The last two weeks vanished as in a blur, and I thank God for that. Many of the days were very unpleasant and emotionally draining. Yet, as stated through many blog posts, time does pass, and challenge and pain moves, eventually, with it.

Today, it appears that the critical portion of the recent crisis has past, which means that healing and health will return, day by day by day by day. Traveling through days filled with crisis and land minds, a GPS might prove to be a helpful tool.

Recalculating, recalculating.... it retorts as direction changes once again. When life throws a horrible curve in the form of a car crash, a fire, an unexpected illness, involving those in our lives who are so deeply loved - immediate emotions could bounce from horror, fright, to fear and concern, to dismay, perhaps back to fear, and finally to knowledge and understanding.
Each time recalculating, recalculating................

When I had that thought to recalculate - it also gave me a few minutes to think - how to get grounded again. It created a breath - which created another breath, which created another. The reality that when you think you have the situation or an event understood, are prepared and ready, it will be just the time when things will recalculate.

During the past two weeks, without being fully aware, my steps and movements were recalculating many times via autopilot. Now that healing is more likely, I took a deep yoga breath and will now remove myself from autopilot, and begin to be cognizant of the direction of my movements, goals and focus.

I was grateful for all the lessons I have learned. Autopilot was fairly capable, yet very relieved that I can now turn it off-- life will be better. Life is about recalculating, readjusting, and maneuvering through land minds, and lots and lots of praise and prayer to God.

Happy Thanksgiving

HAPPY, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!! Thanksgiving of 2010 has arrived.

There have been fewer posts the last few months, as my focus has more places to land. And the places have been joyful.

First, thankful to God for his unabiding (I don't think unabiding is a word, yet I like it) - never ending love and gracefulness who continues to mold me. He is with me when writing as I share thoughts and experiences with you.

Second, I am thankful that this blog, appears to be available upon demand. When the thoughts arrive and I want to share with you, it is here. I am thankful for the opportunity and a platform to write, and provide thoughts which I make without malice, in a clear, honest and light style.

Third, I am grateful for you who have commented and provided opportunities for more posts on subjects that were not on my radar. For sharing desperate days and experiences and sharing with others - we are not alone - everything we do will affect others - and by allowing others to see and feel, it is understood we are not alone. There is strength in wisdom, knowledge and comfort as others share empathy and understanding.

Fourth, and not the least - opportunity for love abounding has come from unimagined places and people, through God. As experiences unfold, I will share. The experience this past month was not through my design - it unfolded and has been an amazing, joyful journey which shortly will expand.

Suggestion: Share with others what you are thankful for. Take time to verbalize it, reword it, hear what it sounds like. Put it on paper make it your own - yet share it.

And, here is another - appreciate those around you. If they challenge you, thank them anyway. And, you can be honest - say this is challenging yet, I thank you. It might provide an opportunity to remove the challenge, and, perhaps together take steps to resolve it.

HAPPY, HAPPY THANKSGIVING.......

Patience -- A gift to yourself and others.........

Try it on, perhaps, see how it feels. Everything new feels a bit awkward. I put on a pair of new sneakers this week, and they were much better looking than the old pair for starters. And, they felt comfortable, cushy and soft. And, they felt a bit awkward, as they were very different from the old pair. Not "bad" awkward, simply different awkward.

Patience can feel like both - "bad" awkward and simply different awkward. It will depend on the area that you are testing patience in. With sneakers not as noticeable, as when taking steps to change behavior.

For example, are you in line at the mall during the holiday. Where does patience show up then? Not at all, most likely, because there is no room as agitation and annoyance begin to flow higher and higher within our visibility and awareness. Or are you driving to work, or listening to someone else talk, in a challenging relationship, taking care of others such as small children or parents.

The last six months has been an interesting time for me. From my Christian perspective God gave me the opportunity for a lesson, and I decided to dive in and see what would happen.

Thank you all for being patient as I have taken steps and been doing other things. For one, speaking more, and writing less.

Happy Monday before Thanksgiving.

As the holiday season progresses I will be blogging about patience and the lessons I have learned. The first lesson is to make room for it. Like anything else - take a look at your closet or the garage. Is there room for new clothes or the car?

Communication - Listen

Recently a thought occurred to me that regardless of age, one of the most important aspects of communication is listening. Whether someone is 2 - 10 - 30 -50 -80 - or, listening is one of the most important and often not thought of skills within the art of communication.

If a question is asked, clarification may be needed. Sometimes, and often, the person asking the question is not asking for the information that the listener believes is needed to answer the question.

Some questions are so simplistic and/or broad. Ask a question in return such as, "Could you be more specific? Or, simply say -- interesting question, why do you ask?

Especially talking with children when uncertain how much information to provide. Many times the person asking the question may not be asking for reasons the listener believes are true.

Take steps to not prejudge or determine "why" until know more clearly and understand what is being asked.

Changes occur each day --

Just look out the window if you live in the Northeast particularly. Each day another leaf is turning color, the temperature hovers a little lower and the calendar some days is flying toward winter.

Celebrating today the computer is back - have a new day job, started 3 weeks ago. Love blogging, yet does not pay the bills.

This blog does fill my heart, and continues to make it bigger with a larger capacity for love. It is a gift to me, as I continue to credit God and through His Grace. He is using me to communicate with you.

I know for a fact, especially with posts recently, that computers this fall have been having some issues. And, because of that, I am turning to revisit snail mail to deliver some messages. Those that are personal, those thoughts that occur in the later evening hours, those that are needed to fill a space, a need in others.

Consider it - yes it will be a message with a price (postage is $.44, greater than a few years ago), yet that can be part of the gift. Perhaps if more people sent letters, a price increase would be unnecessary for the Post Office. Some people might have their jobs saved. And, it can be done without a computer.

Amazing - in a small way. I like moving away from the computer a bit, some days the computer seems to be in charge of me, instead of using it as a tool.

And, one more note. I attended the Rochester Women of Faith event and will be digesting much for the next few days. An inspiring view to look around and see somewhere between 9,000 to 10,000 women under one roof all to praise, heal and spend time with God.

Blessings --

Freedom - Not at a Price

For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don't use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.
--Galatians 5:13, NLT

Back from vacation into computer problems. Currently using a good friend's and this is what she is doing -- serving another in love.

My prayers are out to you all for comfort, clarity and strength as you move through your challenges to take the threads and gems that appear into the next day to grow and to move into the person you desire to be.

Please know although quiet at the moment, I will return and am able to hear each one of you that comment. For those who do not comment - please know that the above prayer is for you also.

Namaste

VACATION HEAVEN.......

Back from vacation, and still relaxed. This is what I have deemed a successful vacation. I had no expectations, a couple very casual and possible requests and they were granted. On the agenda was activity (the cottage was on a hill, and the dock was down 44 steps more.) Then took a couple long walks, one over 5 miles. That item was checked off.

Naps - took one almost every day, so that item was checked off.

Sitting on the dock with wine, a book and my I-Pod. Also checked off.

Relaxing - checked off.

Coaching session -- with client. Another item checked off.

Sharing the space with friends and loved ones, checked off.

Weather interruption -- did not happen, as no expectations. Another item checked off.

This might not be your style of vacation, yet this is what was needed for myself - my friend who shared the space with me, and other friends who came to visit. It became a destination spot for friends who needed the time to relax, refresh and commune.

Many grand meals grilled outside and lots and lots of laughter.

My friend and photographer, by the way, and I created the vacation, kept it in progress as it was planned and confirmed, and then success was working together to pack, unpack, cook and share the space together and with others.

"Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success." -
Henry Ford

CHAOS -- can be Peaceful

Chaos can be peaceful. As is usual I speak from experience. There are a few areas of my life at the current moment that could be considered chaotic. Today I am preparing for a lake cottage vacation beginning this weekend. The house looks like it exploded with preparation.

Also, I have been job hunting (for about a year) and will be leaving one and going to another, and interestingly, there seems to be a couple possibilities.

God has provided a new relationship, and that is progressing in His time frame.

In a fashion, I'm staying out of His plan by checking in with Him every day to ask assistance and guidance with each of the above.

Chaos can be peaceful when know that it is not permanent - NOTHING is, only death. Not talking here about all the garbage in landfills.

Today life is perfect -- grab the lessons learned and move forward. If it was not for the lessons, knowledge and experience gained this past year, I would not have a job opportunity. Has it been difficult, very.

Gradually each environment will be cleared and the path clearly visible.

If you would like individual communication please contact me at itsyourlifenet@yahoo.com.

REQUEST

All comments are appreciated, and I have one request. That they are made in the English language and no other - or that you post in both languages - native language and then translate into English. This is out of respect for the blog as I do not read anything other than English.

Any comments that are not in English will be deleted. With so many tools and opportunities, it is easy to receive assistance to translate into English. Please respect the readers, and others that comment and the blog itself.

With respect -- thank you,

-A Tidbit

Feeling "muscles"

This is not about body muscles, the ones that bulge or don't bulge. This is about internal feelings, a group of "muscles" that controls our actions our thoughts, and creates challenges and opportunities depending of what they are.

Feelings that are generally happy, comfortable, and alive - create the same. Yet feelings that are dark, uncertain or simply questioning - create the same.

Like any "muscle" the more the feelings are diagnosed or "worked" and not ignored, the better they will be. The dark feelings will linger less, and the joyous feelings will more easily return.

Suggestion: Can begin in the quite of your own room -- write down each feeling as the word appears. Labels can be dangerous, yet words do allow us to better understand and diagnose. Take the time, seriously, don't short change yourself and give up. Allow an hour, perhaps to let things percolate -- get out a Thesaurus to help with uncovering the actual feeling. Expand your vocabulary in the process.

Just like with push-ups, the more you do the more you can do. (By the way I'm up to 15 from 10) Go from neophyte to mastery (no not there yet with push-ups). Yet, cannot get to a goal with out taking steps.

The better you are able to diagnose your feelings, the better you will feel. Also, communication will move to another level, as you will be able to express yourself clearly.

Strength

Webster's definition of "strength" is "........ 1: the quality or state of being strong : capacity for exertion or endurance 2: power to resist force: solidity, toughness 3: power to resist attack : impregnability 4 a : legal, logical, or moral force b : a strong attribute or inherent asset..."

Webster's definition of "power" is much longer than strength which I find interesting "....1 a (1) ability to act or produce an effect (2) : the ability to get extra base hits (3) capacity for being acted upon or undergoing an effect b: legal or official authority, capacity, or right 2 a: possession of control, authority, or influence over others...."

"Power implies possession of ability to wield force, permissive authority, or substantial influence..."

The definition is quite long and I suggest you review it in its entirety. Because of that alone, I prefer to have strength. To me, strength offers to others, it does not wield force.

Some people believe that they have a need to be controlled, to be told what to do, and acquiesce to another to be in charge and make the decisions. I ask is it simply easier, is it that which is accustomed and have not experienced different, or........

Some people feel the need to be in power as they are uncertain of who they are without. There is no other paradigm to follow.

Power is granted, strength is acquired.

Simply an observation -- which is what "A Tidbit" is about.

Happy 4th of July -- RED, WHITE & BLUE

Red, White and Blue colors will be everywhere this weekend. The colors of the U.S. Flag, which can fly proudly itself -- yet what do you see, feel and understand when you look at it. By itself, it is fabric and a pattern. It is a symbol. That is what I'm thinking today. What do you see when you look at something, and can it be different than what you see? Typically that is what happens to inventions. Someone sees something different.

Recently, the big desk chair I was sitting in became awkward and too uncomfortable. Designed for a larger person, likely a man, it needed to be replaced. At my day job I saw a co-worker sitting on an exercise ball. She said it helped her back and offered good posture. What an idea. I rushed home inflated my blue exercise ball - and that is what I'm now sitting on rather than a large, black chair that took up space, was not inspiring, and collected dust.

I now sit and bounce do crunches and roll around in a different way. A friend, who recently hired a personal trainer, confirmed that it is also his suggestion. To get out of complacency and empower yourself by sitting on an exercise ball at your computer.

Happy July 4th Weekend!!!!!! I'm kayaking, picnicking, and watching fireworks from a rooftop this year. What are you doing?

A-Tidbit, continues to take a peak at things from a different angle and share what it sees. So glad so many comment and share what they see and experience. Each one helps another --

Presentation - Possibly......

This may be the cart before the horse - yet, it might be the opposite. I am taking steps to create a presentation; however, with the many blog posts and thoughts swirling through my head, a distinct topic is somewhat fleeting.

The place I have in mind will hold about 10 people. So there will be limited seating.

It would be appreciated if topic suggestions would be offered. What would you like to hear about. Not promising that it will be my choice; however, it might be something around that suggestion. Either way, when prepared, I will be posting the time and location.

Thank you! I look forward to feedback, very much.

Power --- Strength

Your comments have resonated with me and a past relationship. The relationship was 13 years old and ended, not abruptly. Not many relationships end abruptly. Oh, it might seem so, yet actually they fade. There is a song I have heard on K-Love -- "it's a slow fade..."

It is what happens when power is given and strength fades. As this process continues a relationship becomes lopsided -- one has increasing power, one has diminished strength. This is one scenario - there are other fading relationships with other reasons for being lopsided. Yet either way, attention and focus is changing -- one or both are becoming less a priority, less important, less and less and less and less. List priorities and see where you are on their list - and determine where they are on your list.

When another has the power - what they say takes on importance, their opinion becomes the one that matters, what they think of you counts more than the 20% of what you think about yourself.

When life changes from belief to knowledge -- it truly will become easier to increase your personal strength and release the power gifted to another. In the past I believe I created a post on strength vs. power, if not, I will. Strength is larger than power, it has legs and longevity, it is what God provides when we have faith. Power is fleeting, it is based on external fuel.

Strength is internal and blossoms with faith and trust in God and yourself.

Acceptance - Conflicted

One thing I think God provides me with are good ears to hear. I read and heard - rather than mention individual names -- comments posted recently that people are not being heard by those they love. Whether it be a husband, wife, children, co-worker, or boss. Children not listening, a husband on edge, Everyone wants acceptance, respect, love, encouragement, and to be valued. If the important person in your life is not listening to you, my first question would be, WHO HAS their ears and eyes. If not on you.......

Life today appears to be so fast and furious - I'm just getting over a self designed weekend, that included a nap, reading and leisure. Much needed.

Suggestion: Find time, first for yourself. Ask - what is the problem? What needs to get fixed. Then determine if that is a mountain of a task. If so, take a small bite and consider that problem. Think of possible solutions, yet, also be open to the possibility that another person might have a great solution.

Then ask for time with that special person. The first step is to let them know the thoughts you speak are your thoughts, and you would appreciate that they simply listen. Second step, ask them what they heard. Then, don't interrupt to clarify. Allow them to hesitate and use their own words.

This can be a great start to moving into acceptance and removing conflict.

Oh, happy day. Time to move into it!

Cheers!!!

First, Second, Third, Home

"Progress always involves risk; you can't steal second base and keep your foot on first." - Frederick Wilcox

Not to utilize old puns.... the current topic, is challenging to many, myself included with some areas of my life. With any type of relationship, you are making a commitment. You are making a choice to commit more of your time and attention to the people in your life. Whether it be dating for a week, a month, a year.

When you buy a new or new-to-you car, you are making a commitment. It is a type of relationship. A car can provide warmth, power, comfort (when it runs and gets you to where you want to go), and dependability; and there are times, when it fails and disappoints. I'm beginning the car shopping process, and I saw one recently that turned my head. After thinking about it, considering the advantages of and the advantages of not getting it, also checking in with a couple people, I determined that it was not the car for me. So, I did not commit.

How long did that take - perhaps 48 hours. It could have taken longer, or it might have taken less time. What I would suggest, truly, is pray about your relationship. Pray that your eyes be opened to see, your ears to be opened to hear, and the words you need be provided.

Suggestion: Relax, check in occasionally with the other person. Where are they? Be clear on what you want and need, and what you have to give.

and, thank you for posting your comments; you are appreciated.

Squeeze joy.....

Commitment - Can mean "the end," yet........

The word "commitment" according to Microsoft Word's thesaurus:

Promise: pledge, vow, obligation, assurance, binder

Obligation: duty, responsibility, liability

Need I say more? Obligation, binder -- liability, duty....... Please note that, as I begin to write, these are my thoughts.

Much of the feeling around the word commitment can be based on the experiences of a person. If a person has seen relationship after relationship fail, then the word commitment, might appear as if an anvil has landed on the heart or throat.

Some people, perhaps too quickly, move into a committed relationship without first doing their own homework. What relationship do they want, what values do they have that their partner needs to share or value also.

I do suggest that people live for the present day, and not focus too far out. And, this is true in the current day. Yet, if a concept of the future is not appreciated or understood, then chances are a commitment will fail. Five years into the relationship, she goes back to school full time, he decides, please no children, another determines she does not like to travel, another finds that being alone so much was not in the bargain, still another retires. There are many more scenarios for failure of a commitment. Some people just don't want to fail.

Thus, a bad rap for commitment. If someone takes 5 years to commit to a relationship, is that wrong? What are the reasons? To finish school first, well that makes sense to me. To take the time to get to know the other person, to save and plan for the future. That can make sense.

Personally, I have had issues with this word; however, I believe I understand it and appreciate it better now. It can mean a beginning rather than an end, it can mean focus and less scattered. It can mean that the right person is right in front of you.

Your thoughts on this subject? Bring them on!!!! Thanks to each person who comments and shares, and for all others who stop by.

Squeeze joy!!!

Memorial Day - May 30, 2010

Wow -- Thank you to each member of the U.S. Military for standing up, and continuing to stand up and being proud even after 20 and more or less years. Each of you left your life as you knew it - to stand tall and proud for the chosen military service - to live by Faith. You accepted what each day brought without much if any choice regardless of how difficult or demanding or pleasurable.

That is the walk I'm attempting openly each day by asking God to take me away and enter my life.

I applaud each of you - and thank each of you individually for all that you did, all that you do and for who you are today.

Many people believe it is for the U.S. - yes, service in the military is. Yet, there are so many benefits throughout the world.

"Be the change you want to see in the world." Mahatma Gandhi

You each changed your lives for the benefit of others. Bless you!!!!

Another phase

Commitment -- some people find this word simply difficult - living on the fence, might seem to provide choices and the ability to not get bogged down in mire and muck.

Yet, I have committed to more oral surgery this next Friday, which means soft food for another three weeks or so after. All for the good - and perhaps, I might discover how many flavors there are of ice cream. Or, give it a good go for the first couple days only.

Commitment can be simply the process of making a decision. So many times in past years the decision appeared as the largest challenge. Once made, a 1,000 pound elephant was off my shoulders, until the next time.

One simply way to assist: Make a list entitled: Advantages OF on one side -- and Advantages of NOT on the other. Get into the details, and see what appears.

Again, to contact me directly - use itsyourlifenet@yahoo.com.

Disappointment - unavoidable sometimes

"Life without love is like a tree without blossom and fruit." - Kahlil Gibran

Rochester, NY in the Spring is where most thoughts turn to warmth, sunshine and the Lilac Festival. The following is from the website, lilacfestival.com

"The only 10-day free festival of its kind in North America it is inspired by a magnificent lilac collection at Highland Park that plays host to over 500 varieties of lilacs on more than 1,200 bushes. What was first planted in 1892 by horticulturist John Dunbar has turned into the world’s largest lilac collection that even Martha Stewart has enjoyed when she visited the festival in 2007."

This year, the lilacs began to bloom two weeks prior to the start of the festival. I am not certain how the festival calculates the date, yet, it is always in May. As I watched and read some comments the past week, or two, I thought of this possibility. What if the lilacs had bloomed and departed prior to the festival? Yet, does that mean I love the flowers less? NO. This is a somewhat my thought when asked a question about commitment. Typically, I don't attend the festival, as the lilacs grown and showing their brilliance around the community are enough for me to get a dose of spring and see the beauty of the flowers. I don't need the festival typically.
Yet, relationships where one or both people want it to grow - they need the festival, they need many things more than simply seeing and experiencing the visual and the sensual. People have values, and if not lived within, a life will be out of balance.

This blog is not intended to answer specific questions - it is designed for people to think and choose their own direction. Coaching is more specific and personal, yet, too, it is designed for people to choose their own direction.
************

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much."- Mother Theresa

For those who have lost a loved one -- it is so very painful. There is not much to say - except, love each other more while each is grieving in their own particular way. Create a scrapbook of moments - if not many pictures, then words - thoughts and memories of the joy experienced. Or, perhaps create two -- or more -- Connect with others, perhaps who have had similar experiences. Yet, each one will be distinctly different. There can be comfort in things that are similar.

Also, know that prayers are with you - each one of you.

This is an English speaking Blog

Lately I've noticed comments in another language.  I request strongly that all comments be in English or they will be deleted from the site.  There are many translation sites available to translate from or into English.  As, this blog is written to be available to everyone - and more people understand English than other languages.

Please if you would like to comment -- and, please do - comments are VERY welcome and requested.'
 

PLEASE COMMENT IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.

Thank you!

Speaking the Truth with Love

Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding.
   --Proverbs 3:13, NLT

Back from NYC and getting healthier again.  Something got me and took my voice.  Laughingly, my children indicated their delight.  More about that trip later, and a week has passed already.

Taking on tough subjects with friends or loved ones.  There are options, of course.  Wait until they bring up the subject, or have someone else share the information.

First, consider the motive and the subject.  Do they need to know, or is it your need to share the topic and remove it from your mind.  Is it their issue or yours?  Also, consider the possible outcomes of sharing information.  One possible way to begin a difficult conversation, is to discuss values and what if this or what if that, how would you handle it.  Possibly use a similar topic without actually discussing the topic in question.

With rather vague information - a position is difficult to offer.  Yet - honesty is ALWAYS best - even if the results are less than warm and fuzzy.

As far as how to handle a friend, when the feelings have become strong for one, and the feelings of the other are in question.  What not to do --- don't catch them off guard with a sincere kiss.  That happened to me once, and it changed and ruined a wonderful friendship.  To this day - I look back and wish that the situation had played out differently.

Roy -- so sorry to have missed you and the family.  Not far from Henrietta at all.  Every area around here is within approx. 20 minutes.

The weather is beautiful here today - spent the larger part of day at RIT - Rochester Institute of Technology.

Also - I can be reached by e-mail.

Thinking is easy.......

"Thinking is easy, acting difficult, and to put one's thoughts into action, the most difficult
thing in the world." - Goeth 

Green is still my favorite color.  Yet there are others that I truly also enjoy.  That is thinking, and acting - yet, action.  I can type, write and share on a blog - yet, I've been somewhat hiding and being unseen also.

One thing I think about is public speaking.  (Thinking) I have been a member of Toastmasters. (Acting).  Yet, I have never given what I consider a presentation. (Most difficult)

What do you consider - most difficult?  

I may be quiet for a bit - I'm traveling to NYC next weekend, and have a few things to do to prepare. It is vacation and adventure - going to a soccer game, sightseeing and experiencing.

Roy -- how are you and the family, and thank you for the encouragement and support?  Emory, thank you for advising on your friend in England.  Jean in New Bern - I have in my mind to visit there again within the next two years, I would look forward to connecting. How wonderfully rich being with your friend, and thank you SO much for sharing your experience.

To EVERYONE too many to name - thank you from myself and the photographer!!  We enjoy what we are doing.

Formatting on this blog.  There seems to be a new format, so please be patient as I figure it out.

 HAPPY SPRING !! My personal favorite when everything is fresh and new again.

Squeeze Joy, Each Minute........

So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can.
--Ecclesiastes 3:12, NLT

Good evening!!! I get e-mails from K-Love each day with a bible verse. And, this arrived today. Oh, it is cold where I am tonight. In fact, there were actually a few snow flurries. Yet, that is a fact of life in the Northeast -- 80 degrees one day, and the next, not. If I allowed the weather to rule my happiness; I might never crack a smile.

Happy Friday!!!!!!

HAPPY EASTER -- HAPPY PASSOVER -- HAPPY TO ALL!

Tomorrow is Easter Sunday - the day of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. I cannot speak for Passover; however, I respect and acknowledge the points of view of others.

For all those who still carry the burden of past sins; now is the time to ask God for forgiveness and to relieve you of those sins to allow you to move into a life with God rather than the struggle that occurs without.

Best wishes for a very Happy EASTER to all the followers, friends and families of those who take the time to read the words ---- -A Tidbit. These are offered freely and openly through the grace of God who offers the thoughts to me to share.

With that - your posts and comments are a gift to me AND others each day of the year.

This one is going to early church to hopefully avoid crowds and move into the day of celebration. The weather here is unseasonably warm. Rejoice!!!!!

P.S. To Emery and Robert - please contact me.

Feel like throwing a snit?

"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." - Unknown

Thank you, a VERY large THANK YOU, to all who post. If anyone wants to contact me, read the "About Me" section to the left.

I look back on my life - and this spoke to me -- the times I would say, "Well, that was an interesting experience." Sometimes, that is where we stay. Think of relationships or dates you have had -- too many experiences, can delete the pool of choices. Also, on occasion, I will admit, sometimes what I have wanted, is not what I needed. And, yes I've been in a "snit" before. Thankfully, it has been quite awhile since the last.

Just got back from the gym and not feeling very profound right now; however, the gym and shower after were pure heaven.

OK -- suggestion for this weekend. Get outside - walk, lay in the grass and sky gaze, play tennis, bike, sit on the deck -- clean the yard. Play hopscotch with the kids, and find out how fit you used to be.

STEP x STEP x STEP

Good Morning -- Quick thought - and a HUGE thank you. All your well wishes have been warmly received, and apparently worked. This week is MUCH better than last.

Also, congratulations on the engagement. How wonderful - step x step x step, another example. A hug after 4 months - step x step x step.

Step x step x step -- some are small steps, and can seem inconsequential.

Oh, and the most recent photo was taking in Rochester, NY within the Highland Park conservatory, I believe it is called.

Applause -- to all of you for sharing with each other. How is everyone else doing? Please, don't hesitate to check in -- have there been steps? Small steps create larger steps.

TAKING CARE OF ONESELF

Since Christmas, there have been a few posts from me; however, the last 2 months have been a bit challenging in that I've had a need to simply, take care of myself.

An upper respiratory infection, and now oral surgery. The mouth is swollen like a chipmunk, on one side; yet, my biggest challenge right now, is what to eat. Only soft foods, and very small bites are my friends.

Any suggestions, except for getting the blender out and mixing up strange ingredients that are not ordinarily mushy - I'm very open to suggestions. Yesterday was small ravioli, cut into very, very small pieces, and a pint of ice cream.

Sometimes, it is necessary to simply sit back - take it easy, and allow the most powerful computer in the world - the body, to do what it does best. Heal!!!!!

Here is a thought with relationships, though, not to let an opportunity pass. My good friend is picking up from the store what "I" need to feel better. She is not getting what she needs and wants and believing that is what "I" need.

If you need hugs, and he needs action to be validated and feel loved, then give the other person what they need. And, then let him know specifically what you need.

Have a wonderful day - and please, don't hesitate to send soft food ideas if you have any. My mind keeps going to ice cream, yet I truly know I need nutrition for the body and the soul.

RELATIONSHIPS

Relationships - what a broad topic. There are so many, yet I believe what most of us are curious about is a personal, romantic relationship between man and a woman. Yet, relationship 101 can be used by everyone -- friends, workmates, family, etc.

Recently I had a wonderful conversation with a family member. He indicated that what is important to him in a relationship is "high" conversation and humor. Ground zero in relationships, to me, is what are you looking for? How will you know when the "right" person appears?

I mentioned in a previous post - Are you ready? That is very important also. Defining what are you ready for -- dating, sex, friendship, marriage. What is it TRULY that you want and need.

A friend of mine has been dating for over a year. There was romance, laughter, sharing, introductions to family, and all the experiences and "right" words were spoken. Yet, the relationship did not move into the committed one that my friend cherishes and looks forward to. One in the relationship is simply, not ready as of this writing. Will that change? As of today - which is the only one that is important, this minute to be more specific is most important, there is no change. The relationship has splintered, and they have separated. Is there pain? Yes.

When we identify ourselves by what we do, who we are with, what we own, or what we think - we are truly missing a golden opportunity. Romantic relationships don't define us, relationships don't complete us.

Romantic relationships are to enrich each other, support each other, to learn from each other.

Romantic relationships are........ (Here is space for the readers to chime in, please.)

Donald Miller - Author - Changing your story.....

"A Million Miles in a Thousand Years"

Just about half-way through reading this book, I did not want to take another minute without sharing this with you. Many of you have been sharing how creating stories has changed your lives.

For all wanting a new relationship, for others within one and wanting to make it better, please check this book out. K-Love.com, a Christian radio station, not only provides music, it takes their Christian role seriously by offering prayer partners, contests, hope, and love through all that they do. I have been gathering points as an "Insider" by sharing and knowing some answers, and with those points I chose this book. It arrived this week, and I cannot put it down. It helps that I'm a bit "under the weather" so laying around is not a hardship. I'm blessed with having this book to read.

OK - back to laying around and reading. Head to the library - or a bookstore. I highly recommend this. It is written as a memoir. I understand he has other books, yet this is my first. My suggestions is not to miss it. The chair is where we read -- yet, in order to create your life stories, you will want to make sure you GET OUT OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Step one: Get out of your chair, take a step - as scary or difficult as that may be -- take a step, even if a small one. Not moving from your chair - will only continue your life in a dream state. You will wake up, in the chair unchanged.

Got to - Want to

"It's so hard when I have to, and so easy when I want to." - Sondra Anice Barnes

This resonated with me -- I want to blog, yet the time this past week + has been challenging. And, since the posts come from God, it is important for me to sit still a bit to allow God access.

Work has been way to LOUD in my life, and it definitely is a "have to" rather than a "want to."

All relationships can work that way. Are you feeling the "have to" more than the "want to."

This will be shorter than some lately, as I "have to" get ready for work. My day job that pays the bills. In this environment, I thank God for that opportunity. Yet, I'm also asking for others.

For parents who could use some tips, perhaps, check out Super Nanny on the Google, use the link on my home page. I noticed a blog that perhaps will provide some ideas from others who are having similar challenges, and I believe you can review some programs.

Perhaps shifting the "have to" into another thought - let's try today with whatever it is you "have to" do and simply see what happens.

"Squeeze joy....."

Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke

Letters to a Young Poet
by Rainer Maria Rilke


Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to
love the questions themselves, as if they were locked rooms, or books
written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers,
which could not be given to you now, because you would not be
able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the
questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually,
without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.


Here is something to chew on.... Also, give the question up to God, as you get up, have a cup of coffee and move into your day.

RELATIONSHIPS - THEY ARE EVERYWHERE

"Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most." - Fyodor Dostoevsky

Congratulations to all the new story tellers out there for taking a new step and uttering a new word. Thank you for posting your comments to allow others to understand and realize that they are not alone. Within this virtual world people are becoming more and more isolated. It is easier to sit at a computer in your jammies than to slow down and look someone in the eye, and say, perhaps - How are you.... really.

The "story" post almost did not happen. Yet, I was sitting here at the computer, took a breath and my fingers typed it up. My words truly are a gift from God, and He deserves all the credit. I so appreciate all that you say, as the compliments are being returned to the rightful owner each night as I pray. He provided me the friend, and together we created a diversion and lots of laughs. It is so much more rewarding, as you each confirmed, to have another to share the stories AND the laughter with. It can create energy, and also space for new to be formed. It will provide space for opportunities and new visions.

For those looking for new relationships - from what location are you looking? Last evening I was in a new local restaurant. It offered an opportunity for me to introduce myself to the waiter, which, in turn, offered me the opportunity to learn a bit of what his life is like. As we prepared to leave the restaurant, we took a few minutes to chat. I learned it was his second night as a waiter, he has been a teacher at a local community college, and is now studying nursing. I'm so very grateful for that opportunity, and I look forward to returning to get to know him even better.

There are lots of steps to take with relationships, yet one is to simply, begin. Rather than "looking" for the right person, simply meet people. It might be through the people you meet, when the person you are dreaming of appears.

Now the next question is - are you ready, really ready?

"Squeeze joy ...."

Something else - to think about........

When I was getting a divorce, and the world seemed as if it was upside down one small thing started to help. A friend and I began a game of -- "Tell me a story." Whichever one was in need, the other would begin, in detail, a fictitious tale describing problems that were different, seemingly unique. For example -- "A friend of mine just called and she has a hang nail on her 5th finger..." (that could start the laugh) and it would go on from there. When done, we were laughing and feeling oh, so much better. OK, some days needed more than one story.

What happened was that our minds were taken away from what our own personal experiences, even if for a few minutes. Those few minutes began to add up as memories that we could return to, rather than the memories our minds were creating of misery, uncertainty, loss, fear, etc.

When love leaves - whether through death, divorce, separation, it can rock your world.

Everyone benefits when their minds are taking care of someone or something else. If need to, start small, take small steps. Make a list of steps to take and be specific. This works great with children. Don't leave them out of the healing process, in fact, get them involved. If they have lost someone they love, help keep them connected. Have a memory sharing time - I remember when.... Get out pictures of when the kids were small, sitting on Grandpa's knee, etc.

Volunteer to help others, bake cookies, paint a room, go sledding. Start seeds for spring planting, plan a memory garden. OK - in the South, where there is no snow, you tell me. I'm always looking for ideas. Go hiking, play tennis, create a small play. Note all things create action and can be done with others. The important thing -- a start is made.

HEALING - RELATIONSHIP - LOVE - EVERY DAY

Good Morning - a bit early, and I have been a bit "under the weather" the last few days. OK, I'm sick. Nothing serious. However, not bounding around full of energy, rather lethargic, somewhat grumpy, and finally not defiant. In other words, I'm allowing whatever is happening to happen, yet taking steps to move past it.

PATIENCE!!!! Yikes, that is a challenging word for me. Within the relationship of one, two or more, such as families or groups patience is number one, I believe. A lot roles into that one word. The concept of "Just Be," for example.

I have heard your questions, comments and needs more clearly for some, and with others the statements have been or questions are broad and large. Yet, keeping in "A Tidbit" form, I write what seems to happen or appear in front of me.

When healing from or accepting loss of any kind, from illness, from or within whatever place I find myself -- patience.

Advantages: It provides time to see more clearly, time to understand and take corrective action, time to nap, some days.

If on vacation in England for instance - I"m so flattered you are reading my blog, yet, as a suggestion -- patience. Move away from the computer and other electronic devices and have a TRUE vacation. What a wonderful experience you are having. One to share with another, once another is found.

"Fire Proof" - Patience. When giving a gift, expectations can derail the true meaning. And, there is nothing wrong with pink. Think of the process as a gift. Give it and let it go. Patience

Loss - Patience. Each person will process loss differently. Perhaps, look at the prior right and wrong blog posts. Also, take time to notice emotions from feelings. When you can, dive in to determine what truly is going on. What is the emotion, and then determine the feeling. There is a post somewhere about this. Patience, with yourself and the process of healing. Pain cannot be put on a blackboard and wiped away in one swipe. It will fade, which can take patience.

Patience - a gift to others and yourself. It does not mean that nothing is being accomplished. Patience can mean that you are taking time to observe the accomplishment.

OK - I'm off to the Dr. this morning, and patiently my day is beginning.

Squeeze joy --

Relationships......

Here is a great source for those looking for something quickly. Looking for something quickly, will not solve whatever challenge you have. Yet, beginning is a wonderful place to be. So much opportunity. Consider a clean slate - your mind is open - resistance is down - eyes, ears and mind are open and free from judgment.

OK, start there :) :) :) :)

Then head to klove.com where there is a daily "Love Dare." Rather than me go into depth here, go to the website and check it out. "The Love Dare" is a book. It is being posted on the site each day, and today is Day 4.

I'll be back - just HEARD the need and did not want you to leave you without support.

Squeeze joy - and Happy Saturday!

Thursday Thought

"It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy...." - Charles H. Spurgeon

After a fairly challenging day yesterday at my day job, this resonated with me. Days begin, days end -- as goes every other aspect of our lives. The recent posts to the first two blogs of the year resonated. When something ends, something begins.

What a wonderful beginning of a nursing career, or end to school. Lisa, CONGRATULATIONS on a job well done. Achieving a 4.0. Magnificent!!!!!! And, I so appreciate you stepping up and sharing this accomplishment.

A child is born another person passes. Sweet and Sour is on our tongues, in our minds and in our thoughts. Sour is pain.

Something I have not done lately, which is going to happen tonight. I am so grateful this minute, this day, in this new year for many things, and a list is mandatory today. I just tucked a notebook in my purse. Begin to consider the joy, sweet memories and appreciation for what is, and what is not.

Sweet is the process of "Squeezing joy from each minute, time does not return, yet memories do."

New Year - a Beginning and a Change

2010 is upon us - the days already passed have been for some joyful, for others exhausting, for others renewing, and for others, well, heart wrenching, to say the least as recent posts to this blog have indicated.

First, let me personally say how deeply and sincerely sorry I am for the place that you find yourselves right now. The loss of anyone can be sorrowful. Yet, the loss of people so loved to a variety of experiences and situations with some passing from lives and relationships in ways almost impossible to imagine, is heart wrenching.

This is A Tidbit, designed to be small, digestible bites. I will continue to follow God's advice and share the thoughts that come to me. You all enrich me, and I thank you for taking the time to share your experiences.

Perhaps the first person who posted on this topic provided comfort and solace to the next, and the path is continuing.

That is all for today. Yet I did not want another minute to go by before acknowledging the obvious bravery, love and pain expressed in the recent posts. A thought - love lost - is not truly lost. It will always be held in your heart - it would seem the heart wrenching pain, is that love digging deep into your hearts to hold forever.

Namaste --